Remorse

Hey! Listen. Im very sorry to all the things that I have done to u regardless whether they were intentional or not.

Back then (maybe also now), I was really being a ruthless jerk that acted in such childish manners.

I m truthfully asking for the forgiveness. Eventhough u might think I am being dramatic or whatnot for saying this, I will still say that I am really sorry and dreadful for this.

I just feel damn bad that our friendship has turned out so incorrigible. The very first BFF I owned has now become a stranger.

We were once so close to each other but due to some miscommunications, we drifted away so much! It's really not worth it, man!

Time and feeling might have changed for good, but one thing for sure, I still do care about u now.

You might be alr seeing more of your BFF now whom are way better than I am as a friend! Just wish that you will by chance come across this entry and read it.

May success always be with you in your future endeavors.

19-10-2012

Well seriously some times I think I really need to record the odyssey of my life.

It has been weeks AGAIN since I last updated, here goes my stories.

New semester started a week ago, everything seems to be just alright except class allocation was quite a disappointment ... Get separated with buddies, equally...

Having said that, we r kind of emmm still yet bonded with current new semester classmates, so we still hang out quite often which I think is very good and fun...

Im in the same class with Sheryl, Nithia, Jasmine, Agnes and Farah whom are all from my last sem. And also from external socialisation Maynard, Raymond, Chu, etc etc, I cant remember anymore...

Life's good so far except hectic days are coming soon, will be having less time hanging out with buddies, so Im trying my best to enjoy myself with them as much as possible for these two first weeks.

Life's full of mysterious and surprise, and I am asked to go to wild wild wet for tmr with Bros. to think about that it's not about the place that We go, it's about the fellas that Im going out with, we have been not seeing one another for months. Arian, Vincent to be precise. Joni will come along as well.

These few days, I have been hanging out quite often. Started from last friday, went to AMK hub for teppanyaki with buddies, Teddie sammy and jassy. Saturday blank day (working day), Sunday went for Ayam penyet and shopping at Jurong Point with Indra and Becek. Monday went to visit the Sick buddy Shertimus at her resident with Nighia Sabby and Teddie AND saw the cute baby that her mom babysits. Tuesday I cant remember. Wednesday went to eat pepper lunch at AMK Hub with buddies Teddie sammy jassy and Apple!! Thursday whole day meetings and Birthday Surprise to beloved JUJu till almost midnight!! Friday went to eat some good food at Bishan with buddies!! It's nice thou!!!

Just hope everything will change for better since they r surely going to change some days...

Till here-

Mayo~

Long long time..

It has been months since I last updated!!! Surely there are so many things happened during this period.

I will just jot down from my scattered memories from all the big events.

Well, first thing that I wanna share is that I have quite a satisfied result from my Y2S1. Although I could have done better but oh well, i have done what I should have. Leaving no regrets with things that u have tried ur best in.

And I am still having my holidays. During this period of time, I get to realise with a lot of things. Take an example, I wouldnt be so inconsiderate thinking that others will need to follow my wills. I was so insensitive back then, leaving other hating me and The feeling is vice versa as well.

Honestly speaking, It has been a long time since I last laughed out my lunges, and I just had it two days ago, hanged out with Kampong Kids is just so fun. *lost quite a number of virginities during that day as well, haha*

I went to USS as well, it was just yesterday to be precise. Quite lots of fun, but just I dont know why I feel that Im hanging out for the sake of hanging out. Maybe I treated this outing as the comparison to the KK's outing?

Another that I learned from this period of time is that dont take urself to compare to anybody, u have what u r supposed to have and that's the thing that makes you who u r!!! Having the things that others possess doesnt make u any happier if u r to get it with all the sacrifices from other things u possess..
Live with what u have, u will be more than happy!!!

The new class roster is coming out very soon, but I have known some of the people that I am going to be in the same class with. I KNOW THAT IT's GOING TO BE SUPAH FUN FOR THIS NEW CLASS ALLOCATIONS... Looking forward to that.

Till here..


Mayo~

Let bygones be bygones

Let bygones be bygones...
Apparently, I have used to what I thought I couldnt get used to with, the mundane lifestyle.

Now, I have no more worries in keeping people's at ease and using any harsh words to articulate what I really feel inside.

I wouldnt have thought that I could stand still without any supports from others. Should really give myself a tap on the shoulders.

Well, now Im under this "everything-screwed-up" condition. Upcoming exams, upcoming events and family issues...

Exams are just around the corner, next week to be precise. i have been studying out for freaking 4 days and Im dead for real!!! I dont think those studying out sessions I did any revisions but well, I did help out with my friends' enquiries which made me feel good.. :)...

Regarding to the event, the Club that Im in is going to have the largest event of the year which is the ISF, International Students Festival, happening in December. Im in charge of the Admin department, the head of it. Im feeling quite happy though, as this will be the first time to be in Admin sector. There will be surely a lot of things for me to learn for... :)...
And the event is under preparations from this month onwards, all the international students from variosu countries that are involved in this eent are asked to prepare for their performance and Today Jason, Dexton and I went to ask for some funding from SIF, Singapore International Foundation in order to expand our event to its maximum.

As regards to my family issues, my grandpa is currently warded in SGH, he just had an operation in the head a few days back. I feel melancholy whenever I step into the ward that he is in. he is alr 73 yo, supposedly has to enjoy the fortune that he earns from these years, but now because of a slight fall, he has to be warded and suffered from all these, this is how life unfairness goes. Another saddening thing would be my grandma whose body isnt that fit is here with my grandpa as well. In them I see how "true" love could be developed through the odyssey that they have been through, I am really touched. Hope my grandpa could get discharged soon , and grandma's condition also gets better. It's simply so sad to see the old shells of them suffer from all the un- necessities...

Till here, update again..


Mayo~

It has all ENDED!

It has come to the end, all the sweet promises are turned into empty shell. Well, time changes a lot of things, Im too irritating I bet.

Well, for the first few days, indeed I was really on the peak of the angst but now all I left inside me is just the forgiven heart that telling to just erase what have u had, all the harsh words and gestures.

I am really not able to hold the grudge too long towards the fella whom I care of, not that I dont want to start off the convo, but u seem happier for not being disturbed neither contacted by me, so I will leave it there despite of having myself hanging in the sky and really donno what to do.

I will continue later when Im awake... Too sleepy to be true..

The End!

Oh well... Everything single effing things that are haunting have come to ends... It may not be the best conclusions but at least they marked off the suffers that I bore for this period of time...

Brotherhood that was promised to stay for one another has now gone back to what we used to be, just friends. Well, I like in this way more than any other form...

You will never be able to guess not predict what their real thoughts are, it's just so scary to have somebody who has such a kind personalities to plan all these, a real jaw dropping...

DONT EVER JUDGE A BOOK FROM ITS COVER!!!

I have learnt a lot from this incident, worthy spent 14 weeks of friends.. Im really glad to have u stepped in and tried to ruin my life, Now then I know I could survive through these storms .

My life is not just around you... I still need to move on, i will now be more meticulous in choosing the real friends that I really want to spend times with...
It's damn painful to fall from such a height!!


Till here ~

Mayo...

Truth Hurts, really Hurts...

It's a disappointment to have when it comes to the lies that are from the closed ones...
I myself am to be blamed for lying such a big trust on them. The bigger u give the wider the cracks formed..
I really donno what to do and say except posting it out here.

I have no one to share with because I believe this is a matter of human's right. I have nothing to say if they really want to disguise from me and do all the stuff behind my back...

Again this TRUST thingy is really really no good to be having in people who dont seem to be able to keep it...